101 uses for a 944 Haynes manual
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carlmthompson
New member
4. Taking a car apart, and then putting back together by reversing the above.
5. Overcomplicating Stuff
To be fair though, they've got me out of a hole a few times. To try and get me reading about what happens when babies are born, my wife bought me the Haynes Baby Manual. Worth a read - very tongue in cheek. Still have no idea where they come from though.
5. Overcomplicating Stuff
To be fair though, they've got me out of a hole a few times. To try and get me reading about what happens when babies are born, my wife bought me the Haynes Baby Manual. Worth a read - very tongue in cheek. Still have no idea where they come from though.
4. taking parts to bits- OK [
][]
5. getting them back together- A JOB ERLL DONE [8D][8D]
6. ending up with a handful of spare nuts and bolts and wondering where they came from ................ OH HECK[:-][:-][:-][:-][:-][:-]
][]5. getting them back together- A JOB ERLL DONE [8D][8D]
6. ending up with a handful of spare nuts and bolts and wondering where they came from ................ OH HECK[:-][:-][:-][:-][:-][:-]
The great thing about Haynes is that one edition covers all models (and makes) as it makes just as much sense on the wrong car.[8|][]
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Guest
New member
That's the spirit James! []
None of this "it saved me once" Wheel nuts should always be tight. You have no excuse for needing a haynes manual for telling you that! []
10. lining the garage floor when you run out of newspaper after spilling oil (although it doesn't even do that well!)
11. Because it is actually oil "resistant", you can use it's pages as a handy funnel to top up your oil!
12. Budgies love it!
]None of this "it saved me once" Wheel nuts should always be tight. You have no excuse for needing a haynes manual for telling you that! [
]10. lining the garage floor when you run out of newspaper after spilling oil (although it doesn't even do that well!)
11. Because it is actually oil "resistant", you can use it's pages as a handy funnel to top up your oil!
12. Budgies love it!
15. Allowing you to end up in casualty, when it says 'remove the bolt securing....' and actually means scrape your knuckles and break your arm trying...unless of course you have the strength of an elephant, are the size of a mouse and have the flexibility of a Romanian gymnast.
16. Ditto in therapy...when it turns you into a jibbering wreck.
17. Ditto in the local police station...when you wake up all the neighbours at three o'clock in the morning shouting obsenities.
16. Ditto in therapy...when it turns you into a jibbering wreck.
17. Ditto in the local police station...when you wake up all the neighbours at three o'clock in the morning shouting obsenities.
I think I most relate to No 9.
Damn some of those early editions must be worth a few quid now - MkI Escort anyone? []
In fairness the UK editions are sometimes halfway to useful, if only to decide whether to take on the job or sub-contract. The US produced 944 manual is pretty much a complete waste of time, money and shelf space. They are obviously so concerned with not being sued that they pretty well discourage you from doing anything more advanced than lubricating the door hinges.
Damn some of those early editions must be worth a few quid now - MkI Escort anyone? [
]In fairness the UK editions are sometimes halfway to useful, if only to decide whether to take on the job or sub-contract. The US produced 944 manual is pretty much a complete waste of time, money and shelf space. They are obviously so concerned with not being sued that they pretty well discourage you from doing anything more advanced than lubricating the door hinges.
18 ) Frisbee
Michael Downing
New member
You want to watch yourself fiddling around with door hinges. It might hurt if someone closes the door on your fingers. [
]19. Interesting new puzzle game: "find the bit on your car that vaguely resembles the photo".
Looks like the local branch of the 944 Wicca group meeting...[]
]
Guest
New member
come on lads! Keep 'em coming! We'll get there before christmas! []
23. when you're under the car, open the book, and lie the bolts in the open spine to keep them rolling away.
24. useful fan in summer when it gets hot.
25. drip tray (under a suitable proper container of course) when changing diff fluid in the wind.
]23. when you're under the car, open the book, and lie the bolts in the open spine to keep them rolling away.
24. useful fan in summer when it gets hot.
25. drip tray (under a suitable proper container of course) when changing diff fluid in the wind.
26. Remove pages and wrap them around small gifts - pass the parcel
27. the spark plug page has pretty pictures but any haynes manual will do.
28. decorating a room (in a house that you rent from an unpleasant lanlord)
29. A makeshift way of applying pressure to a wound (inflicted from following the instructions - e.g. the gentle sounding 'drift' translated hit bl**dy hard
30. as protection between a fragile component and a large hammer.
27. the spark plug page has pretty pictures but any haynes manual will do.
28. decorating a room (in a house that you rent from an unpleasant lanlord)
29. A makeshift way of applying pressure to a wound (inflicted from following the instructions - e.g. the gentle sounding 'drift' translated hit bl**dy hard
30. as protection between a fragile component and a large hammer.
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