Clarkson's view on the 911

[condor]

I'm not a fan of 'tv esque TopGear', but Clarkson's review in the Sunday Times offered very little praise for the 'drive' of the new 991. How do others see the review ? and comparisons to actual owners ?

 

[Lancerlot]

Pretty good report for Clarkson seeing how it's a 911! Following his criticism of the steering on TG, he is now saying it's OK having driven it.

Dead right about tyre availability also!

Regards,

Clive.

 

[condor]

I thought Clarkson's praise was all about the aesthetics, quality & the comfort, with little praise for the purist pleasure of a great driving experience. He gave it zero stars ...
Mind you, his view on cars has become so 'TV orientated for the crowds' that his views are worth very little.

 

[Lancerlot]

ORIGINAL: condor

I thought Clarkson's praise was all about the aesthetics, quality & the comfort, with little praise for the purist pleasure of a great driving experience. He gave it zero stars ...

Zero because he got a puncture and couldn't get a replacement tyre.

Here's the text:-

Clarkson 991 Review from the Sunday Times 18/03/12

When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, labour- and time-saving devices were all the rage. The Ronco Buttoneer, for instance, made putting on a button a quick and easy job. Which was just as well because the button youd just attached often came adrift again in a matter of moments.

The top-loading washing machine had replaced the front step, and then came the remote control box for the television, which meant we no longer had to sit through Nationwide because we couldnt be bothered to get off our backsides. We also waved goodbye to the punka wallah with the invention of the Pifco fan. Life was very good.

But at some point in recent years someone decided to put the complication back. So now, instead of adding boiling water to a spoonful of instant coffee, we have machines that require constant attention. Every single morning mine wants more water, or more beans. Then it wants me to empty its trays and clean its pipes and decalcify its innards. Making a simple cup of coffee has become a 30-minute palaver.

Its much the same story with my* mobile phone. Because it turns out that even when you are not using an application, its still open, in the background, chewing the battery. And shutting it down is a complex procedure that usually ends up with you taking a photograph of your own nose.

Televisions are massively complicated now. And gone are the days when you simply loaded a VHS tape and watched a movie. Now, with Blu-ray, the machinery takes 10 minutes to warm up and you have to sit through hours and hours of waivers and copyright threats and trailers.

My dishwasher is more complex than Apollo 11, my juicer has a 200-page instruction book and have you tried to use a pay-by-phone parking meter? Of course not, or youd still be out there, in the street, asking yourself what on earth was wrong with putting a pound coin in a little slot.

Naturally, cars are now very complicated as well. Its almost certainly true to say that the ignition key for your modern car is more complex than the whole of an Austin A35. Which means, of course, it rarely works. Ive lost count of the number of times Ive been in a car* that keeps flashing up a message saying, No key detected, when Im sitting there waving the damn thing in front of its dash, whimpering slightly and wondering out loud what was wrong with the old system.

Then theres the BMW M5, which can get from 0 to 62mph in about 13 minutes. You spend 12 minutes and 55.7 seconds telling the on-board computer what sort of setting youd like from the gearbox, the chassis and the engine, and then 4.3 seconds going from 0 to 62.

You might imagine that the new Porsche 911 had been spared all this nonsense 911s, after all, are meant to be pure, clean, unfettered sports cars. And there is no place for complexity in such things.

Well, dream on, because the new 911 is a geeks fantasy. Every component can be tuned while youre on the move to deliver something different, and there are now two read-outs on the dash telling you what gear youre in. Which seems a bit odd in a manual. I know Im in third. I just moved the lever.

The thing is, though, this being a Porsche, its all very instinctive and commonsensical. Amazingly, since there are no buttons on the steering wheel itself, you dont have to go into submenus or hold knobs down for two seconds to make stuff happen. I hate to admit it, but I thought it was brilliant. But thats probably because I never bought the whole 911 sports car thing in the first place.

There was a lot more I liked as well. The styling may be ludicrously similar to that of the previous model and the one before that. And the one before that as well. But the little things that have changed have given the new model some nice new curves. You could even call it good-looking.

The big debate about this new car is its electric steering. Because of European Union rules on emissions, manufacturers are under pressure to introduce systems that use less energy, whether or not they are better at the job. So the conventional hydraulic power-steering setup has been ditched in favour of one that works off the battery.

In the same way as Neil Young keeps banging on about the awfulness of digital sound compared with vinyl, various 911 purists say that the classic feel of a 911 is now gone. And Id agree with that. But since Im not a 911 purist, I must say I think the new system is better. For sure, you are getting an artificial sense of how the tyres are interacting with the road and, yes, on a track you can spot this. But for everyday driving, the electric system is meaty and tremendous.

Emissions regulations have had other effects as well. The engine now shuts down at the lights and Porsche has had to fit a seven-speed gearbox. In theory this is fine. You lope up the motorway at tickover, sipping fuel like a vicar sips sherry. But when youre in seventh, doing 60mph, you dont get the twitching and fizzing you expect from a car of this type. It feels a bit puddingy.

Of course, when you get off the motorway and realise youre running late and you need to make up some time, its not puddingy at all. Its just delightful. That said, I would opt for the bigger-engined S model. The standard car I drove, while lovely, sometimes didnt feel as fast as Id been expecting.

Now normally when Ive reviewed 911s in the past, I'd get to this point and say that while the car is jolly clever, it's not for me. The rear-engined Porsche is like Greece and marzipan and Piers Morgan. Simply not my cup of tea.

But this one is different. Over the years, the engine has crept forward in the chassis so that its no longer slung behind the rear axle waiting to become a giant pendulum. Its water-cooled, too, these days, which means the Volkswagen air-cooled clatter is gone.

Inside, the silly buttons that looked like half-sucked boiled sweets and felt about as cheap as an Albanians suit have been replaced with good, high-quality items. The driving position is better, the seats are wonderful and though the car is now bigger than ever, its still small compared with all its rivals. Thats a good thing.

Drawbacks? Two, as I see it. The boots at the front, which means you get dirty fingers every time you open it; and Porsche has never shaken off the City boy braces-and-Bollinger image it earned in the Eighties. Which means you are never, ever, let out of side turnings.

Okay. Two and a half. The engine isnt quite gutsy enough. But go for the S and thats resolved. In spades. Just avoid the convertibles. Unless you enjoy looking a plonker.

Im sure there is much that will disappoint the diehard 911 fan in the new effort. But there is so much to delight those of us who have never liked 911s. I could even see myself buying one. Its a fab car. Really, really fab. And, all things considered, good value as well.

PS: Since finishing this piece, Ive realised the Porsche actually gets no stars at all because its useless. Last Sunday the tyre went flat. There is no spare. And no depot carried anything that would fit.

Recently a friend of mind had a flat tyre in his 911 and it took Porsche two weeks to find a replacement. Unless the manufacturer can address this, there is simply no point buying its cars. Because one day you will need, say, to take your mum to hospital and you will have to phone and cancel.



Clarksons verdict:*A fab carmade useless*by a puncture

 

[condor]

Thanks Lancerlot for the printed copy.

Sunday morning was a busy time in my household. We were all reading the Sunday newspapers over brekkie & my young son was eager to determine what Clarkson thought of the greatest motor car in the world. From what JC had written, it is all about creating 'surprise' & 'effect'. If one believes the story about his friend and the 2 week wait for a tyre .. 'Im sure another made up story'. The world 'oxymoron' springs to mind, in addition to a journalistic 'moron'.

JC is my least favourite critic. On a recent flight to Miami, he & his two stooges were in the Concorde Lounge at Heathrow. Quiet, subtle, low key ... no way ! Loud & on their mobile phones .. very 'red ferrari-esque'.

Thank goodness they were seated in Club World. I enjoyed a quiet & comfortable flight.

 

[pauljmcnulty]

I read it as the most positive comments he's ever written about a 911 of any type, and i've been reading his ramblings since the Performance Car days. I'd guess t would have been a 5-star review, downgraded to 4-star because of the image problems every Porsche driver suffers from. Perfectly fair, as the cars do have a problem he rightly pointed out is down to the "greed is good" image of the 80's red Porsche.

He then made a seperate point, clearly added on so you can understand he's not criticising the car, but one major failing. If you can't drive a car due to a flat tyre, with no spare and no local stock (including late at night or a Sunday afternoon, punctures happen at all times), then the machine is completely useless in the real world and deserves the no-stars rating IMO. [8|]

 

[condor]

Mr McNulty,

I appreciate your response, fully supportive of the new model & JC's praise. Indeed his writing style ebbs & flows, heaping praise in one direction, and then
as he writes below, pointing out the older virtues of the iconic 911.

after all, are meant to be pure, clean, unfettered sports cars

various 911 purists say that the classic feel of a 911 is now gone

I drove a manual version of the 991 Carrera S about 10 days ago. Indeed the build quality, design and luxury was 'up there', but I found the sound of the orchestra rather strange. Sport Plus mode had been engaged giving a 'yelping tone'. The orgasmic sound that drivers yearn for, but with my accelerator foot fully engaged I found the power rather lacking.
It sounded like 'all guns blazing' but I felt the car restrained, as if the brakes were still engaged.

Getting back in my 996T, I felt a more engaging drive. It is probably my love of bhp or Nm in today's talk rather than the speed; Apart from the two Porsches, I get great delight in driving an RS6 Avant on a more regular basis & a Renault Megane 230F1. The latter of which has the best suspension of all my cars, designed by Renault Motorsport & hard to beat.
The RS6 has all the 'grunt without the fanfare'. Whilst owning my 2003 RS6 from new, I bought another new V10 RS6 in Spring 2009. I kept it for 6 months as I preferred the older model which I still own.

Oh & I reckon the story of JC's puncture is just more bluff ! IMHO

 

[Buddy]

Like many members I'm no great fan of the three stooges and Clarkson in particular but he does have a point which I and many others have complained to dealerships over and that is a lack of available N rated tyres, I've even had to track tyres down and tell a dealership where to get them when my car was in for repair.

For once, Clarkson actually said something I can ( extremely ) grudgingly agree with.

 

[marlin]

Well personally I enjoy Top Gear very much and the three presenters who are having a laugh , get over yourselfs []

 

[condor]

Fortunately everyone is entitled to their view.

TopGear has been a huge success both nationally and internationally.

I believe TopGear represents the media entertainment side of the car business & not that of serious car enthusiasts.

 

[flat6]

The 911 is unique in that it has managed to stand the tests of time and has been around a long time and evolves from one incarnation to the next. Most manufacturers come up with a new car, with a new name every few years. Because of this you'll get the reviews that say the new 911 hasn't changed much from the one it replaces and the reviews that say it has lost 'this and that' from the old model i.e. it has changed too much. I think it will always be like that with the 911.