LBD
New member
'Our First Winter'
DEC. 20TH
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years. The wife and I took out hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
DEC. 24th
Woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight everything covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and loved it! I did both our driveway and the pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidently covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose and had a snowball fight - a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in the fun.
DEC. 26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temp. dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our drive again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again! Much of the snow is now brownish/grey.
JAN. 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice when the temp. dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on my arse in the driveway. Went to physio but nothing was broken.
JAN. 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4X4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to right wing. Had another 8 inches of white s**te last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush. That b*****d snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?
JAN.9th
More f***ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater that tipped over and nearly torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. Lost my eyebows and eyelashes. Car hit a f***ing deer on the way to casualty and was written off!
JAN. 13th
F***ing b*****d white s**te just keeps on coming down. Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little s**ts next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back. I'll shove that carrot so far up the little pricks arses; it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch that a******e that drives that snowplough I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the b*****d hides round the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like Michael f***ing Schumacher and buries the f***ing drive again.
JAN. 17th
16 more sodding inches of f***ing snow and f***ing ice and f***ing sleet and God knows what other white s**te fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick. Can't move my f***ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more b*****d snow is forecast.
This place really is the arse end of nowhere. I'm moving back to civilisation.
