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The Beast has arrived!

Peter_Bull

PCGB Admin
Member
I was inspired to write this report having read Tonys recent report when he bought an old Cayenne and nicknamed it ‘Blueberry’. A great read.

My wife Ann-Marie and I have been contemplating buying an old vehicle so that we could tow the village water bowser when required (we run the Village in Bloom group). It would be sat on the drive most of the year blocking it as a turn around for the hundreds of lazy delivery vehicle drivers who can’t be bothered use the end of the cul-de-sac to turn round. Grrrr. We set a measly budget of £4,000.

We looked at old Land Rovers and anything else with a tow bar fitted, but soon ruled them out because they were just not ‘right’ for various reasons. Apart from being very ‘old’ and high mileage, we soon realised that our budget wasn’t going to get us anything near a half decent vehicle.

My wife Ann-Marie has always yearned for one of big American style double cab pickups. Far too expensive just to tow a water bowser for the village!!

So how about we look for a Ford Ranger pickup like our neighbour Mike has, albeit his is only a couple of years old. Searching the interweb and these were coming up at silly prices with 150,000 miles on!!! We found one at a dealer (tripling the budget!!) in Burnley, but after a very short test drive, Rangers were ruled out as being far too tractor like for my tastes!

I wanted something more comfortable and easier to drive at my age.

Why not an early Cayenne? We were at the factory in Leipzig in 2003 just as they had been launched and we were blown away with their capability. We both agreed this would be an ideal solution and we could even use it at Porsche Club events if the weather was bad and thus leave the Targa tucked up in the garage nice and dry.

The first one I checked out with my friend Albert Walsh was a very early diesel that had clearly seen better days. Parked under trees, full of bird droppings and in a sorry state, bodily and mechanically. No thanks. Walk away.

Several prompted my interest on Autotrader and as luck would have it one popped up for sale at a car dealer only 10 miles away in Lytham St Annes. It sounded very promising and a quick call to Albert and we were away, having arranged for a viewing as it was by appointment only.

As soon as I saw it, I was hooked. It looked huge in Silver. A 2010 second generation (958) V6 diesel with black leather and just over 80k miles. A fully loaded launch model, with Panoramic roof, air suspension, Burmeister sound and all manner of toys to play with. Pity there was no tow bar, but this can be fitted later. Its not rust-free underneath as they all came from the factory without much protection, but that will be sorted. Of course, it’s not concours and we could have got one with another 50k miles for half the price, but it seems such a genuine looked after ‘beast’.

A deal was done, and the car was ours.

tSANsTh.jpg


Far from it being the ‘shed’ we initially wanted to tow the village water bowser around its now become our favourite car to jump into and drive for everyday routine tasks. In just over 3 weeks we have done over 1,200 miles.

First task when I got it home was to clean it to my ‘very fussy’ standards. 4 hours alone on the inside! It looks great and I was very pleased with the outcome.

I thought my years of fettling with cars were well and truly over, given my chronic back problems, but with Ann-Marie's help I have really enjoyed getting it on my ramps and checking it all out. I’ve been underneath and wire brushed it where needed and applied a rust convertor called ‘ Ferro-bet Rust Remover – Rust Killer and Converter’. It worked a treat too. Now its finished converting and dry I will be applying a layer of Lanoguard during this week’s upcoming ‘heat wave’.


With a car of this age nothing is perfect but the dealer I bought it from uses a garage for repairs not too far from where we live and have been excellent in sorting out the issues under warranty.


  • Both back doors would intermittently remain locked.
    • Both actuators replaced
  • Rear wiper failed to work.
    • A complete new rear wiper motor, arm and blade fitted.
  • One engine mounting replaced due slight vibration felt on steering wheel.
    • This still needs to be resolved unfortunately.
Sadly, the maintenance history of the vehicle is not perfect or complete and so as a belt and braces approach its going in to have all the oils changed this coming week. Gearbox, transfer unit and both differentials. The engine oil and filter were changed the day before I took delivery so there is no need to do that again. Oh, and a new set of 4 Michelin Latitudes before winter.

When Ann-Marie drove it for the first time she said it felt huge and was indeed a beast of a car, but she mastered it easily. The affectionate name of ‘beast’ has now stuck. Quite surprisingly, local driving produces around 34mpg and on a decent run 42mpg can easily be achieved.

Neither of us have had old cars for many years and I am sure that in the fullness of time we may end up having the odd issue which will test our patience and our bank balance, but in the meantime it’s a race to see who gets the ‘beasts’ keys first!

PS I need a parcel shelf if anyone has one.
 
And there we have it. Once you experience the joys of an SUV you quickly realise, on the roads in Britain of today, there is next to no point putting up with the compromises of driving a sports car. And, with the proliferation of physics cheating electric cars, sports cars aren't even especially sporty now by comparison any way.

Next job on "The Beast" get rid of the drug dealer wheels and get something smaller that will allow tyres with tall side walls. Pot holes, and the damage they cause, will become a thing of the past, curbs can be driven over with impunity and verges are a parking spot.

This is all why Terry The Tangerine Truck has been with me so long and I can't remember the last time Beaky came out of his garage. Even son Peter is selling his Cayman after buying a cheap beater shed so that he can get a nicer shed.

Another plus over your bum dragging sports car is when you drive in the rain you don't get engulfed in spray when in a truck.
 
A Cayenne in the family take a lot of beating, they are such a capable vehicle these days .. especially with the war zone roads we have in Hampshire

FWIW I like his drug dealer Rims :ROFLMAO:, perhaps because I had the same style on my previous one [:)] However I so agree my next one will not be on 22 inch rims, but something thinner, more tyre wall, better all season tyre choice etc
 
Great adventure for you both Peter-after all that "underground " work I don't believe there is anything wrong with your back-its just a ruse to enable photoshots to be taken in disabled parking bays[:D].
I do agree,the Cayenne looks great & sounds like a real deal.Round here though in Formby,we are overcome by young women driving the family Chelsea tractors on huge tyres & wheels-never get used seemingly for anything other than school runs & showing off.
Tyres are also very noisy on our streets.I'm sure you'll be down on the beach next![:)]
 
gdavison said:
A Cayenne in the family take a lot of beating, they are such a capable vehicle these days .. especially with the war zone roads we have in Hampshire ...


A million years ago we did a Cayenne off road course in conjunction with Geoff Ives Porsche and Polo. As a Land Rover owner I was somewhat disappointed how good the Cayenne was off road. I had hoped they would be rubbish ... it turned out they were as good as Terry the Tangerine Truck. Terry has had some mods now though so I can still proudly wave the Land Rover flag. :)
 
A million years ago was, apparently, 15th August 2010, so actually 13 years ago almost to the day. A lot of fun was had by those brave few who subjected their pride and joy to the mud.
 
John Sims said:
Next job on "The Beast" get rid of the drug dealer wheels and get something smaller that will allow tyres with tall side walls. Pot holes, and the damage they cause, will become a thing of the past, curbs can be driven over with impunity and verges are a parking spot.


The 21" wheels were fitted to the car when new and I think it helps to make the car look pretty cool. The ride is really comfortable compared but I am sure that small rims and higher profiles would make it an even smoother ride. Maybe it the air suspension that aids the comfort.


vitesse said:
Great adventure for you both Peter-after all that "underground " work I don't believe there is anything wrong with your back-its just a ruse to enable photoshots to be taken in disabled parking bays


Lol Colin.

I guess I just get on with life and have got use to making 'adjustments' for my back issues, not least the great assistance I get form my wife - oh and the pains killers help too ;-)

After 26 spinal operations in the last 33 years I try to get on as best I can no matter what the painful consequences are afterwards.

Haven't seen you for a while Colin, so hope all is well with you.


 
Peter_Bull said:
The 21" wheels were fitted to the car when new and I think it helps to make the car look pretty cool. The ride is really comfortable compared but I am sure that small rims and higher profiles would make it an even smoother ride. Maybe it the air suspension that aids the comfort.


Smaller wheels will mean spectacularly cheaper tyres and fully unleash the full "I can drive anywhere" potential. Terry went from 19" to 17" and the difference, and piece of mind, is dramatic. No more destroying side walls and damaging rims when moving over to let idiot tourists by.

The other thing I have thought of the Cayenne is (silly as it seems) they grip too well. They are a big heavy bit of kit but you never seem aware of the limits of adhesion when cornering with enthusiasm. My concern is, when physics finally gains the upper hand, break away is likely to be somewhat spectacular. A taller side wall will be much more progressive, and provide plenty of audible clues, before the tyres finally give up the fight.
 
We are both fine ,Peter,thanks-its just that with growing grandchildren ,we get more calls to help out -2 in Northumberland 1 at Uni, & get various clashes with Parish Council,Formby Little Theatre,local politics etc .
Hope to see you soon.
 
Hi Peter,
Enjoyed your write up too - though now feeling guilty I haven't been under mine yet to deal with its rusty rear suspension arms!

And John - Sports cars can still be fun even in the modern world and a lot of those 'quick' EVs are only quick 0-60(ish) !

Tony
 

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