Annoying that the information on "what not to do" is always buried in the details for that component rather than in the task at hand isn't it?
How to jump start your car... connect here and here, turn key, etc, etc, remove leads, ponder the extra pretty lights on the dashboard, replace components here, here, and here... then take car to main dealer as this requires special tools/no servieable parts inside/we couln't be bothered to figure out how to fix it anyway.
If there are two relays on teh ABS pump, do you know what they do? Are they the same? If so, is it a case that you might get different symptoms if you were to swap them over? This might at least suggest these are the problem, or not...
Tref.