Cotswold Cruise - Cornbury House - 7th June

[SteveAndrews]

很抱歉的速度慢，我在旅行的设置上周日的步伐的时候。由于我没有很高的即夹克，我想我最好还是保持步伐低到让每个人都在一起，也让所有那些来自SW享受乡村美景。艾伦则必须为任何这些车队提供高即未来！

Sorry as all these foreign lingos might as well be chinese to me I thought I'd join in appropriately!

 

[brickell]

够了谷歌翻译

 

[KIRK]

lan as you know after the hard nights sleep Kirk needs a rest before starting the day. I am sure once it has passed 12.00 we might see a post.

Sorry James your concept of time is as poor as ever. It is now almost 3.00pm in the after whatever its called and a long way past the time you rather insultingly suggested I would make a post. Not sure about the Ferrari Club acting as break down trucks as they have an unreliability record second to none. OK so Wartburgs may have been worse. Or Trabbants.

CWT = Hundred weight or 112 LBS from days gone by when coal was sold by this measure. Impossible to do today due to health and safety where this particular weight would need to be carried by two persons. In addition carried out a risk assessment for each bag delivered to each of the five hundred customers. People would have frozen to death whilst waiting for deliveries but that would be OK as long as the risk assesment was done properly.

Hern Obergruppenfurher Alan. What is all this stuff about topic, off topic, maybe a bit off / on topic, completely off topic etc? You only need a topic if hungry and visiting your local petrol station and you do not have a nut allergy. Plenty of nuts on here but not sure about the alergy which is a modern phenomenon exhibited by the young. Most of us are past the young stage even the Chinese bloke that sometimes posts on here. We are resolutely OB that often are found IF as that is what car types often do. For those not following; many of our events are peopled by Old Blokes and we often display our cars together In Fields (or grassy areas in posh events like I went to last saturday and was called a lawn). But I digress. So OBIF = old blokes in fields, Porsche do it, MG do it and even saw some Ferraris do it last saturday but they got to the event inside a big covered car transporter so they had obviously broken down before starting off. Hopeless.

By the way Alan the Faries have moved out.

I think the sausage business is now taken care of so Hern Furher Gruppen Ober (rearrange to suit) and other members with unduly tidy and linear minds can now be satisfied the wurst is over.

Alter Rentner wir arbeiten fur Sie.

Time for a lie down.

 

[K22MDL]

Have I joined the right club? I thought the Corvette club was a little er, mad?!

 

[KIRK]

Have I joined the right club? I thought the Corvette club was a little er, mad?!

_____________________________

The problem with American Car clubs is that they do nothing in a thorough way. Hence "little" mad in your question. Here in PCGB (Poultry Club GB for the uninitiated) WE ARE PROPERLY MAD. Full fat, no messing, no half measures, really bonkers. All this can be ascribed to our R31 leader and the Chinese bloke who goes under the name of "Steve" (likely story) who some times posts on here.

Alter Rentner wir arbeiten fur Sie

 

[brickell]

Sorry Kirk my time keeping was out I forgot to factor in the PW (post weekend) time allowance of three hours to compensate for the exertions of going out both Saturday and Sunday.
I shall flog myself with one of the thongs as punishment.

I can fully understand the corvette club being a little mad, the cost of fuel and V8 engines that size it would make any one angry,
I second OBIF Kirk us poultry club members are bonkers.

I reckon this Chinese 'Steve; might be hacker trying in get information on Clog dancing, hi viz clothing and other R31 secrets.

 

[SteveAndrews]

I thought there may be a large market in China for high vis jackets as google didn't seem to have a translation for it. However, it seems it is my english that left a lot to be desired. I may be in for a bit of ribbing tomorrow night I fear.

 

[KIRK]

James,
you are completely forgiven regarding your time cock up and you are quite correct to add three hours because I went out both days at the week end. It would have been five hours to add on but I was fortified by a mixture of Horlicks, Ovaltine and Instant Choc drink and a particularly uncomfortable Hi Vis undergarment. Also I believe you are correct again (try not to make a habit of it) that this Chinese "Steve" is a hacker trying to steal our product ideas.

It has just occured to me that our illustrious leader mentioned "budgie smugglers" in an earlier post. Why would you want to smuggle the little bird for god sake? They are cheep enough in the local pet shop! I think our leader has fallen off his metaphorical perch and knocked his head on his mirror and bell on the way down.

And Steve 10% it will be more than a ribbing!

Alter rentner wir arbeiten fur Sie.

I feel tiredness approaching.

 

[vitesse]

I fear there is a chink in all these arguments-in fact I'm finding it all quite confuciousing & likely to get incensed,particularly as there is a regional shortage of hi-vis thongs up here in the nether regions.

A contact has told me that is the reason for the slow progress on the northern electrification scheme & Network Rail are busily trying to repatriate the millions of Hi-Vis garments that have migrated to the Cotswolds due to insatiable demand from an elderly troupe of latter day left footed clog ,hobnailed boot & industrial flip-flop wearers from region 31

 

[KIRK]

& industrial flip-flop wearers from region 31

We will own up to the migration of Hi Vis to R31 (sorry if it is causing delays to construction work although I think that it is just a lame excuse) but we had nothing to do with industrial flip flops. Try region 10 Paul Ebbs. They have been known to prance (I use the word advisedly) about at night in the summer months in Stoney Stratford High Street possibly in flip flops. Do not fear for their personal safety as the High Street is completely devoid of life after 9.00pm and Hi Vis is not required as they smear their naked bodies with Porsche 20/50 Classic Oil which glistens in the dark and wear reflectors on their rears from the rear of a 1970 Porsche 911. Not sure how these are attached.

Thank you for your comments as we were begining to think that electronic communications had not got beyond Northampton.

Alter Rentner etc etc

 

[vitesse]

Who mentioned -electronic-I just read your eloquent fable on my reverse engineered psychometrically tested Samsung laptop using my eyes for goodness sake.
As to industrial flip-flops,these originally were invented by an unemployable ex -slipper sewer in the Nelson & Colne valley who apparently put his heart & sole into their production.
Initial production concentrated on supplying the mushrooming demand from fairies & diddymen working in the treacle mines in Knotty Ash & was a really brilliant way of using the stamped out blanks left over when a local factory was making those garden kneelers with the built in handhold.

As the annual works holiday was usually taken at Fleetwood,it was necessary to ratio up the flip-flop sole size to produce a range of soles-cunningly called after the inventor,whose name was Richard-hence another 1st for the Nelson & Colne valley-& the R-soles became a best seller.

Whether Paul Ebbs realises this or not has not been confirmed but with a tidal surname ,one presumes he just goes with the flow.

 

[andywill]

Whether Paul Ebbs realises this or not has not been confirmed but with a tidal surname ,one presumes he just goes with the flow.

Like[][]

 

[KIRK]

As the annual works holiday was usually taken at Fleetwood,it was necessary to ratio up the flip-flop sole size to produce a range of soles-cunningly called after the inventor,whose name was Richard-hence another 1st for the Nelson & Colne valley-& the R-soles became a best seller.

Vitesse,
I think you missed a gear when informing us of the history of the flip flop. Perhaps it was the reverse engineering, you were involved in, of the wooden spoon in a saucepan of porridge into an MG "B" gearbox and you momentarily lost concentration. Understandable though.

With your obvious knowledge of industrial flip flop development at Nelson & Colne I am surprised that you did not mention the long and tortuous gestation of the "toe" of the flip flop. Quite properly the toe was actually, in days gone by, called the "nose". To ensure efficient use of materials and industrial processes various shapes of "nose" were tried starting with what was termed the "A" shaped nose. This was followed after much thought by the "B" nose which was rejected then the "C" nose and so on. After months of work and many frustrations the final design was agreed upon with the nose that is in common useage today and known as the F-nose.

OAP

 

[BartyB]

An ex-pat contact of mine who lives in Riyadh reliably informs me that back in the 80s, the Saudi Army purchased a large quantity of the military version of the F-nose flip-flop design from the UK MoD as part of a trade deal brokered by Mark 'Trouser' Thatcher.

Following extensive poolside BBQ trials (we're still on topic), the Saudi Army commissioned Lilley & Skinner's Military and Industrial Products Division to modify these flip-flops for desert use for their special forces by incorporating a carbon fibre insert and Kevlar webbing capable of resisting Level 2 nuclear attacks. These special lightweight desert versions also incorporate air channels (TurboSipes) that blow sand from the sole when walking and an Infra Red lighting system for night-time use. They are known as Saud-nose.

Hr. Bartlett
Oberhauptmann R31 (erste klasse und bar)

Die Cotswold Region - Vorsprung durch frivolitäten

 

[KIRK]

Dear Hr. Obergrupenfurher Alan,

What is it with you and being "on topic"? BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ.

Satisfied?

Wonder what Chinese "Steve" will make of that.

OAP working. Not likely.

 

[vitesse]

Herr Bartlett,
Man spricht Deutsch im R18 aber nur ein bissien-your post has reminded me that when I was commissioned to make the cast iron moulds for the follow -on order for the Saudnose improved F-nose type FA Industrial flip Flop complete with what we in the trade called the FA-rtin' sole ( the sand clearance device subsequently patented by Laura Ashley),Lilley the Pink & Skinner actually tested them at the local Army camp adjacent to the beach at Hightown just down the coast from here.

The natterjack toads - famous Sefton residents on this coast were completely put off their croak by the disturbing noise made by the FA-rtin soles & had to be repatriated down in South Wales on the Mumbles.The National Trust were so incensed that Richard the original inventor & holder of the R-soles patents came up with a modified version of the carbon fibre insert incorporating modulated enharmonic waveguides which not only enhanced the sand clearance feature but reduced the natterjack toad irritation.

The micro-electronic driver module is to this day incorporated into Lotus Engineering's interior sound cancelling technology but F-noseY.

 

[KIRK]

Vitesse,

I think that your last post is definately off topic and Herr Grupenfurher Alan who whilst performing his management and coordination of R31 is also a senior member in the dreaded and fearsome STP (Stazi Topic Polizi) and will be along in due course to issue a reprimand. You have but a short time to edit your post to make it "on topic". So wake up and get to it or suffer the consequences.

OAP

 

[vitesse]

Kirk,
Apologies from oop North if my last post offended the neo -BBQ sensibilities of your Betreibs Gruppenfurher-unfortunately I omitted to mention that Richard our famous Inventor from the Nelson & Colne valleys not only also holds the patents for the R-soles flipflop system & the FA-rtin development but also the patents for the perhaps his most famous but sadly taken for granted invention,the FA-rtin ventilation holes system incorporated world wide into most "kettle" type BBQ's.

He has however most sensibly declined to take any credit for holes found in some "kettle" type pistons but has been pleased to receive vast royalties for the holes found in most brands of smart mobile phone covers-under his FFS-brand.

 

[brickell]

What's happened to the weather, definitely not BBQ weather (still on topic).
I think I might have an answer. Kirk and his Old Blokes in Fields have been posing top-less at a sacred site ( Cornbury house post BBQ) and have angered the spirits of Porsche past. Obviously the appropriate appeasement was not done ( an drop of oil on the ground and a small cloud of smoke).
I hope this situation is remedied so summer can come back and the r-soles can come out.